Every man (and woman) has a past, though the gravity of such pasts is what differs. There are so many issues that could arise when two partners are preparing for their wedding day; while some issues could break the relationship, some could strengthen it. Here are readers’ reaction to the issue of dating a partner’s sibling before marriage.
I will stop the wedding
Fumbi Gbenro
It won’t be funny at all. In fact, it is going to be very serious for us both. I will definitely stop the wedding because of what he did. Such a man is a devil and should be avoided by all means. What is the assurance that if I go ahead to marry him, he will not do the same thing again? I will not be able to trust him again and that is why I will not marry him. If I can’t trust my partner, what is the essence of marrying him?
It depends on how convincing and honest he is
Morenikeji Badmus
I will be angry with my sister for not telling me she once had an affair with my fiancé. I can’t relate with such sibling anymore. Whether the marriage will hold or not will depend on his explanations. I believe he will have a story to tell for not telling me earlier. For my sister, apart from the fact that she cannot stop me from marrying him if I wish to, I expect her to have told me before our relationship gets to the level of wedding because wedding ceremony is not something that can be called off overnight as one cannot overlook certain things that are very important.
I would have known about his past
Tinuola Seun
That is an abominable thing to have been done by him. But wait a minute, before we even got engaged, we would have discussed to the extent of knowing his past. It is not advisable for anyone to dabble into a relationship which is meant to lead to marriage without first knowing who the other partner was and is. I believe issues like this could be avoided if one takes the time to know the other person and not being desperate about marriage.
I will not be present on the wedding day
Ajani Adeola
That is wickedness, though it is unfortunate it happens. I will not say anything to him on the day I find out. I will pretend as if everything is still normal. Instead, I will wait till the wedding day and I will not be present in the church. There and then he will know he has done something that should have never been done. I think he will learn a great lesson from that act. I will forgive him only if he tells me about that aspect of his past, but if I find out on my own, it is definitely going to be disastrous for him.
I will forgive him, but still teach him a lesson
Keji Akinboye
As for me, I will forgive him since I must have loved him before agreeing to go to the altar with him. There is nothing any man will do that has not happened before. It is a bad thing to do, but I will still forgive him and forge ahead. But after the wedding, I will teach him the lesson he will never forget all his life. I don’t know what kind of thing I will do, though, but it will not be good to just let it go. He must bear the consequence of his action.
If there was nothing intimate, I will marry her
Akinsola Olamide
I would like to know if the affair had truly ended and there was no sexual relationship between them. If I can ascertain those, then I will continue with the wedding. However, if there is no full disclosure by the two of them, I will assume something is still between them, which is a sufficient ground to cancel the wedding. But if they confess, the wedding will hold. After the wedding, I can allow my brother to visit my home but he won’t stay for long periods because I won’t trust him. Trust is earned. He should have told me about the relationship earlier.
I will continue if they never had sex
Fajewonyomi Akinwumi
It depends on the kind of relationship they had. If there was no sexual relationship between them when they dated, I can still go ahead with the wedding but if she confessed to have slept with him, it is most likely I call off the wedding regardless of the extent of our preparation. This is because I expected her to have told me all about her past relationships before we got to that level, more so that my brother is involved. I need to trust my wife and have peace of mind in my home. As for my brother, if I eventually marry her, he is welcome to my home because he has been with me before I knew my wife.
If she is sincere, we will do it
Samuel Ikechukwu
If I find out, I will ask her questions and expect honest response. If her response is reasonable and understandable, I will go ahead with the wedding. Reasonable in the sense that marriage is a lifetime issue, so nothing should be hidden from the start. As long as she loves me and ready to stay with me, the wedding will hold. I will allow my brother who dated her to visit my house. Inasmuch as I want my wife to trust me, I will trust her too.
I will still marry her
John Peter
I will still marry her as long as my brother has not paid the bride price. These days, it is hard to meet a lady who has not dated someone else before, so it’s mere coincidence that it’s my brother. If my parents say I should go ahead with the wedding, even if my brother disagrees, I will do it; but if they say otherwise, I will discontinue it. If perhaps I marry her eventually, I will not allow my brother come to my house again. Though I cannot drive him totally away because of my wife, if I find out they still have something together, then, they will have to continue from where they stopped because I will push her out.
We will do the wedding if she tells me the truth
Odukwe Chukwnonso
It depends on how precious the lady is to me and how much she has been open to me. It also depends on how long it was when they dated. If it is above two years, we can move on, but I will ask her to disclose everything that happened. If she confesses, I will pardon her, but if she denies after many attempts of persuading her, that is the end of the affair. I will ask my brother too even though his own response does not really matter. It is easy to think they will start again after we are married, maybe when I’m not around, though I won’t assume such until I catch them red-handed; if I do, that ends our relationship.
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